(01/01-2024) – The time has come to determine who was the most stupid ganker of the year 2023 on Warmane, Icecrown.
As usual, the only nominees are those who received a medal or an honorable mention in 2023.
Firstly, the list of nominees.
In parentheses, you can see the number of times they have been killed overall (or since July 2023 for some due to issues with my add-ons and retail WOTLK).
After that, you can see: B for Bronze, S for Silver, G for Gold, and HM for Honorable Mention. If they’ve received a medal or an honorable mention more than once, you’ll see an ‘x’ and the number of times they’ve received it. For example, HMx2 means this individual received Honorable Mention twice.
Now, let’s see the nominees for the Most Stupid Ganker of 2023.
Alliance: Bebsiicle (G), Bianquee (HM + S), Corber (B), Daddyissues (S), Dankstorm (HM), Fantta (HM), Gankncamp (B), Moogli (HMx2 + G), Olexis/Olegsis (HMx2), Raiczu (B), Toastytoast (HM), Whyrunnin (B)
Horde: Baxtab (HM), Dutabluz (HM), Emirates (HM), Hogsmasher/Bignutboi (S), Keepal (HMx2), Niikkol (HM + S + G), Personaje (HM), Spiriits (S), Squeespleen (Gx2), Steakout (HM + B), Xxwwxxww (HMx3)
Let’s start with the third place, Bronze…
Third place – Bronze
The third-place bronze goes to Olexis/Olegsis and company. He was an honorable mention last year, but this year, he earned bronze.
He has his own article here because he is genuinely dumb. His technique is as simple as the connection between his two brain cells: He bought some well-geared characters (or bought gear) and he gets satisfaction from killing low levels in Freewind Post (Horde place, Thousand Needles).
Now, as long as we talk about an Alliance level 80 20K+ druid killing an under-geared questing level 27 Horde, he is wonderful! Great! Strong.
But if he meets my level 80 rogue, he gets killed in less time than it takes Greta Thunberg to say something stupid.
Then he might switch to another of his characters who can beat this class, but since I have other characters there, he begins to have troubles. So if his brain cell (no, no spelling mistake, I used singular on purpose) isn’t knocked down by alcohol, he stops there. If not, he switches to something else I can kill with another class.
I must say that last time, since he was with a friend and I was alone, and since his friend was well-geared too, I didn’t kill him. But hey, okay…
Bronze for needing to be two well-geared noobs to kill some level 20+ in Freewind Post or for taking on someone your size.
Second place – Silver
The second-place silver goes to Dankstorm.
I knew him as a Horde boomie-druid. He was ganking around Darkshire (probably other places too, but I met him there), from the top of the inn.
He was good at killing low levels from the roof of the inn where no one could get to him (or with some difficulties), but he really sucked at killing level 80s.
My rogue in Darkshire, Hatsel, killed him several times. It was enough to wait for him to come in sight, shadowstep, then go away and wait for shadowstep to cool down (because as a foolish boomie, he will try to typhoon me away, so I can shadowstep back to him), and then, he was an easy kill.
Because he sucks.
Well, he switched factions.
I have no respect for gankers, but I have even less respect for the morons who switch faction and keep on ganking.
He is one of them.
He switched to Alliance and then he is ganking Freewind Post in Thousand Needles.
There, he met one of my Horde rogues, Sylnera, and Nim’s rogue, Shorell, and got chainkilled.
So he keeps on getting killed, and his only win is the “honor” to kill the flightmaster (oh! boy! Level 65 ELITE) and some poor low-level dude trying to quest and then giving us honor.
That’s worth gearing for!
Before we go to gold, let’s see some honorable mentions.
Honorable Mentions
Keepal: He gets an honorable mention because he is too dumb to get anything else.
He is trying to gank in Lakeshire. His technique is to hide somewhere and wait as long as there are other level 80s around. Or to have a character on another account grouped and in a dungeon, and if he gets attacked, he vanishes (to get out of combat) and gets back into the dungeon. There was one time when he came with both of his rogues to try to get my one rogue down, he got killed with one and fled with the other. He sucks big time.
Bianquee: He gets an honorable mention because he is nice to give us honor regularly. He follows the same plan every time: Comes online, ganks NPCs in Crossroads, gets killed by us or some other players if we are not fast enough. He is only able to kill classes which lose against the shadow priest class (or undergeared). But confronted with geared players or classes which are not shadow priest’s target dummies, he sucks.
Niikkol: He gets an honorable mention because he is better at running away than at PvP. At 3v2 he is losing, at 2v1 he is losing, at 1v1, he is running (gets hunted and loses). It seems he is not as foolish as so many others: I haven’t seen him ganking since November. With a bit of luck, he understood.
Spiriits: He gets an honorable mention for the same reason as Niikkol. The two of them were ganking together for a while, but Niikkol stopped shortly before Spiriits. His technique is almost the same as Niikkol’s, but with a twist:
At 3v2, when he sees things go bad, he runs away, letting his 2 friends get killed (and since we are busy with the others, we can’t run after him and he survives).
At 2v2, he tries to run away when his friend gets killed. Since he is such a chicken, I kill his friend first so I can run after him afterward and, more often than not, kill him. If I go for him first, he runs away and I don’t have a chance of killing him since I still have his friend on me.
At 1v1, he tries to run away when his health runs low. I’ve killed him with almost every class: undergeared shadow priest, rogue, paladin… You name it.
I don’t need someone geared to kill him with. I just need someone with engineering to be able to run after him when the time comes.
Moogli: How to forget Moogli Smoothbrain? To be honest, he started the 2023 hunting season as he ended 2022, which means getting chain killed about 20 to 25 times before giving up. But at the end of 2023, he concentrated on Borean Tundra, and generally, he gets killed only a couple of times before moving to someplace else. It will be interesting to see how and if he evolves in 2024.
And now, let’s see who gets the first place – Gold – as the most stupid ganker of all in 2023.
Gold – First place
For the first place, I have chosen Squeespleen. I know, he is fairly new to the list. He showed up at the end of 2023, and we didn’t have time to kill him so many times (yet).
But, as you know, the most important thing is not only the number of times we kill them that makes them foolish, but it is their state of mind, their intelligence (or lack thereof, mostly). And on this point, Squeespleen is a winner!
Firstly, like most gankers, he can only kill low levels, ungeared players, and NPCs. If he meets a geared 80, he dies pitifully.
Then, in accordance with the rules of the ganker, he switches to an alliance to explain how terrible we are and how good he is. He sees himself as great either because we are two and he is alone and we are so unfair (but he also sees himself as great and fair because he kills people 50 levels below him).
Then he sees himself as great because he can one-shot a poor dude 50 levels below him before we can kill him, or because he can manage to kill an NPC (here the flightmaster) who respawns after 2 minutes also before we can kill him.
Then he was crying about that we had to be 2 to kill him, which is not the case (we’ll see that in a minute). As I explained in my text Life and Death of a Ganker, we are often together to share the fun and the honor and also to be able to catch those who are specialists in running away.
So I switched to my DPS-paladin (before I can kill a well-geared warrior with my healadin, it might take a while) and chain-killed him.
Then he again followed the guide of the ganker and tried to run away and later on, stopped defending himself: That’s so he can keep the illusion that this is why he loses. If he was defending himself, he could kill me a million times.
He keeps the illusion that it is a choice to lose, not a result because he sucks.
Here is the video in case you didn’t see it in the article about December 2023.
So, goodbye gankers for 2023. We’ll see each other in this year too. Do not worry. We’ll have our fun with you again! Happy New Year! (Scorpyo)
