The Most Stupid Ganker of the Year – May 2026

(27/05-2026) – Since I am quite busy at the moment and June already looks like an absolute disaster schedule-wise, I probably will not be online much during most of the month. Therefore, I am making the Dweeb of the Month… I mean, the Most Stupid Ganker of the Month for May already now. We will see in a couple of months whether civilization survives long enough for the next edition.

Even though it has been a rather short month, gankers have been very active. And as usual, Alliance has once again demonstrated a truly remarkable commitment to intellectual bankruptcy.

The favorite playgrounds are still Freewind Post in Thousand Needles and Warsong Hold in Borean Tundra.

The Horde gankers have mainly been hanging around Lakeshire in Redridge Mountains, Valiance Keep in Borean Tundra and Darkshire in Duskwood.

Let us meet this month’s distinguished contestants. The number in parentheses is the total number of times I have killed the specimen:

Alliance: Boormalda (2), Braiton (1), Calypsolol (2), Convict (3), Disslike (1), Elohaa (6), Frc (1), Grezdei (2), Ilillilliil (6), Khalys (3), Kimbrah (1), Krymiinator (17), Kuthilmor (1), Lilhex (3), Michuu (1), Rusferal, Sub (1), Vaneria (3).

Horde: Alisaidi (6), Aygor (2) (vanished from existence), Euphyacia (8), Kirasath (2), Kjvespii (2), Kuxxiel (3), Napf (6), Roguepov (2), Rycs (2).

Now then…

Third Place – Dunce – Alisaidi and Euphyacia

I already talked a little about these two bizarre paladins. Poorly geared, using their abilities completely wrong, and somehow managing to make Retribution Paladins look underpowered, which is almost an achievement in itself.

Killing them is easier than stealing candy from a child. Actually, no. The child might fight back harder.

I genuinely do not understand why they keep coming back to Lakeshire to kill a couple of level 20s while generously donating honor to anyone with half-decent gear and a functioning keyboard.

But I suppose self-awareness is not exactly a mandatory talent in the ganking community.

Second Place – Moron – Elohaa

Now this one was fascinating.

A human warlock in Freewind Post who desperately wants to gank but seems fundamentally opposed to learning how the game works.

The guy kept resurrecting behind boxes, walls, fences, barrels, probably hoping line of sight would somehow compensate for the fact that he explodes on contact like a training dummy wearing cloth armor.

Honestly, he was so easy to one-shot that I initially thought he was a low-level alt who had accidentally wandered into the wrong zone.

Apparently not.

So the cycle continued:
Rez.
Attempt to hide.
Die instantly.
Repeat.

At no point did it occur to him that maybe, just maybe, instead of ganking, he should try PvP gear, PvP talents and perhaps fighting players his own level.

But of course, that would involve actual PvP instead of harvesting questing players like mold growing on old bread.

Before we move to first place, here are a few dishonorable mentions.

Dishonorable Mentions

Khalys (druid), Verelka (druid) and Lilhex (shaman)

I had already killed Khalys and Lilhex alone before, so this time they apparently reached the conclusion that the problem was mathematics.

“Two failed completely. Therefore three should work.”

A brilliant tactical breakthrough.

So they recruited Verelka.

Now, in theory, 3 vs. 1 should indeed improve their odds. Unfortunately, teamwork requires coordination, and coordination requires brain activity.

Khalys stood in the middle of Freewind Post looking confused.
Lilhex remained glued to his precious bridge because the only spell he seems emotionally attached to is Thunderstorm.

So I killed Khalys, stealthed, walked to the bridge and killed Lilhex.

At this point I expected Verelka to jump in.

Nothing.

Apparently the cat detected the strong smell of catastrophe in the air, especially since I was still almost full health. So Verelka wisely activated survival instincts and disappeared into the wilderness before becoming decorative roadkill.

One cannot entirely blame him.

Calypsolol

Good Lord, these elemental shamans are pathetic.

Their entire strategy consists of standing on high ground and trying to knock people off ledges with Thunderstorm. That is it. That is the complete PhD thesis.

Unfortunately for them, I also play shaman, meaning I already know the trick. Which immediately reduces them to the tactical sophistication of a damp sock.

So when the knockback fails, the panic begins. You can practically hear the Windows shutdown sound in their head as they realize they have no second plan.

This was exactly the case with Calypsolol.

Excellent name, by the way.

Indeed, there were many lols.

First Place – Imbecile – Krymiinator

A human paladin in Warsong Hold who specializes in trying to gank lower levels and still somehow manages to fail at it from time to time.

That takes talent.

I usually bring my shadow priest the moment I see him log on.

Most fights are not even fights. They are 500-meter jogging sessions.

He runs and dispels.
I run and dot him.

Guess who wins.

Every.
Single.
Time.

At this point, I genuinely wonder whether Krymiinator is an actual player or simply an experimental AI trained exclusively on poor life decisions.

The man either has the IQ of an oyster or is the alt of another ganker I have already sent repeatedly into the afterlife.

Seventeen times so far, by the way.

Not that I am counting.

That is it for this month.

See you again at the end of July or August. Assuming the local wildlife has not gone extinct by then.

(Sylnera)