(26/07/2024) – Zucc came to Lakeshire with 35,000 health, a level 80 Death Knight and a selection of opponents around level 25.
He had clearly given considerable thought to finding a challenge he could manage.
For a while, everything went according to plan. Low-level players died. The flight master died. Zucc presumably felt formidable. Lakeshire was enjoying another demonstration of what happens when someone reaches the level cap before learning to play.
Then my preg paladin, Sigbjorg, arrived.
An unfortunate development. One of the targets could now fight back.
An Unexpected Difficulty: An Opponent
Zucc is an orc Death Knight, which gave him plenty of tools to work with. Unfortunately, the character creation screen does not check whether the person operating them has any idea what they do.
Sigbjorg killed him.
He resurrected.
Sigbjorg killed him again.
At this stage, there were several reasonable options available. He could reconsider his approach, try to understand the matchup or simply leave.
Zucc chose to provide a larger sample.
I appreciate that. Anyone can lose a fight. It takes commitment to remove all doubt.
The Lakeshire Naval Campaign
Eventually, Zucc developed a strategy.
Using Path of Frost, he ran out onto the lake.
There is something rather pleasing about watching a Death Knight who arrived to terrorise level 25s suddenly discover an urgent interest in water sports.
From there, he would occasionally head back towards land to kill another low-level player or attack the flight master. Apparently, he needed regular reassurance that some things in Lakeshire could still die before he did.
His revised battle plan was therefore:
Kill something much weaker. Avoid the paladin. Return to the water.
A modest set of objectives, and he still struggled with the middle one.
Path of Frost allows a Death Knight to walk on water. The tooltip makes no promises about rescuing the idiot on top of it.
Sigbjorg continued killing him.
Thirteen Attempts at the Same Mistake
By the time we were finished, I had killed Zucc thirteen times.
Thirteen.
That gave him twelve opportunities after the first death to notice that his afternoon was going badly.
He used them to confirm it.
The lake provided a picturesque setting for the exercise. Zucc would return, attempt some variation of his previous failure and end up dead again. The scenery changed slightly. His contribution remained remarkably consistent.
To give him credit, he did keep resurrecting. There was no shortage of determination.
A little less determination and a little more comprehension might have saved him a considerable amount of walking.
The Defence Rests. Repeatedly.
Of course, Zucc did manage to kill low-level players and the flight master between deaths.
Those achievements deserve to be recorded accurately. It would be unfair to suggest that he accomplished absolutely nothing.
He demonstrated that a level 80 Death Knight with 35,000 health could kill a level 25.
Then he demonstrated it again, presumably in case the first result had been a fluke.
His encounters with Sigbjorg produced equally consistent results, although these were probably less suitable for whatever heroic account he intended to give afterwards.
The final score:
Sigbjorg: 13. Zucc: 0.
No elaborate interpretation required. Although I am sure Zucc could explain how several of those deaths were actually part of a strategy too advanced for the rest of us to appreciate.
Perhaps the fourteenth corpse would have brought it all together.
Thank You for Your Contribution
So thank you, Zucc.
You arrived to make levelling unpleasant for players who could barely damage you. Instead, you provided an afternoon of entertainment, thirteen kills and repeated opportunities to use a perfectly good flag.
The low-level players also received a useful demonstration: reaching level 80 does not necessarily mean the learning process has begun.
Do visit again.
The lake is still there, and I would hate for all that naval experience to go to waste. (Sylnera)