(27/02-2026) – And here we are again. Another month. Another parade of evolutionary accidents competing for the prestigious title of Most Stupid Ganker of the Year.
I must admit I was surprised by the sheer quantity of stupidity this month. I spent a significant amount of time in dungeons farming the Love Rocket, which theoretically should have reduced my exposure to open-world idiocy. And yet. Like cockroaches after sunset, they kept coming.
The result? A respectable pile of honor points. Honor points that became gems. Gems that became gold. Gold that became coins. Coins that will eventually become gear, mounts and various shiny objects.
So truly, thank you, idiots. Your contribution to my economy is appreciated.
Yes, I did get rockets for some of my ladies. I even accidentally gave one to a character who already had it. That is how absurdly successful this farming session was.
But enough about productivity.
It is time to review the intellectual wasteland of February 2026.
Below is the list of gankers I killed this month. The number indicates how many times I have killed them in total, not just this month. Except where you see “1”. I know this explanation is unnecessary for anyone with basic cognitive capacity. Unfortunately, several individuals on this list read this blog, so clarity is required.
Alliance: Balebciaga (2), Caisilius (1), Dexo (1), Dicey (5… sorry, of today: 6), Furtix (3), Gringero (5), Hyja (18), Killnice (1), Leberwurst (2), Leshpion (4), Llyrikz (2), Pissman (4), Resak (3), Rivr, Topsecret (1), Uglyhuman (7), Xnemorph (3), Xxtentation (1).
Horde: Alegro (11), Almoralde (4, no, 5, now 6… Forget it! You’ll get the updated number next time), Anchipurac (1), Ebigi (2), Fittsikret (2), Ithiefurbank (3), Loveyours (2), Marakna (1), Napf (1, no, 2, oh… 3… Oh! Same thing! Updated later!), Rhizzle (1), Sappulatte (1), Schonan (1), Shngoo (1), Skullsauron (1), Smuggly (1), Stormholly (1), Stress (12), Zovpredkov (3).
Now, let us distribute awards.
Third Place – Dunce Hat – Stress
Stress earns third place. A Horde rogue who requires full buffs to kill low levels around Valiance Keep. It takes dedication to be that overprepared for that little challenge.
Credit where credit is due: he killed me twice. Once when I was low health, trinket on cooldown, eating in a corner. The second time in what can generously be described as a fair fight.
In return, I killed him twelve times across different classes. Rogue. Shaman. Mage. Variety is important.
When he managed to escape my paladin, he was visibly proud. You could almost hear the triumphant fanfare. Twelve deaths fade away if you once press Sprint at the correct time. Heroic.
Second Place – Moron – Killnice and Xxtentation
Let us talk about twinks.
The concept is interesting: If you are not good enough to PvP at your own level, you overgear a bracket and call it skill. It is the gaming equivalent of entering a children’s race with a motorbike.
I have made twinks myself. Level 19. Level 79. Optimizing them is fun. Gearing them is fun. But once complete, they become monuments to insecurity. I deleted mine. They were taking up space because I never used them. Twinks are not a sign of mastery. They are a sign of compensation.
Enter “Killnice”. Level 70 twink paladin, bravely ganking 68s and 69s in Warsong Hold. A true gladiator of the kindergarten bracket.
My Death Knight, Kahena, corrected the situation.
Shortly after, a 35k prot paladin charged at me with all the subtlety of a wounded ego screaming “revenge”.
It did not go well… for him.
There was a minor technical issue during the recording, also known as “I forgot to press a button”, so you only see the end. But you can clearly observe that he managed to remove a few percent of my health. I suspect one of my fingernail was damaged.
Valiant effort.
Honorable Mentions
Gringero: The shaman with one button. His entire personality was build around “Thunderstorm off the bridge”. Thanks to me, he has evolved. He now uses two buttons. The second one is Space Bar, to jump off the bridge and log out when things go badly.
If this trajectory continues, he might discover additional abilities. Possibly even cognitive function.
Fantta: Adaptation strategy: log onto Tsuks (who now is Bloodelf paladin), check if I am online. If he is alone, he does not log onto his rogue. If he has a boyfriend around, suddenly bravery appears.
He also warns Alliance players about my presence. Ganking is fine. Cowardice layered with reconnaissance paranoia is… educational.
Not much hope there. I can’t believe he’ll ever becomes decent, but I encourage wildlife conservation.
Dicey: Alliance rogue in Freewind Post. Skill level: theoretical.
I killed him several times. Once he escaped. A rare meteorological event.
He switched to his horde (Bullmule). Unable to whisper me due to my add-on blocking unknown players, he experienced what psychologists call “narcissistic injury”. The idea of not being heard was intolerable.
Solution? He sent me a mail titled: “Hello, this is Dicey!”, which most likely contains nothing remotely worth reading.
“Hello, this is Dicey”, in case the sender’s identity had somehow escaped me. The IQ distribution remains consistent.
As you can see, I did not open it. I will not open it. Whatever wisdom is contained inside will return to sender when time has come.
Hyja: Still present. Still overconfident. Attempted a trap with a 2 versus 1 advantage.
He died. Again.
His friend fled with remarkable strategic speed.
Before dying, Hyja waved, laughed, and celebrated. He ended with my flag planted firmly where pride usually resides.
2v1. Still not enough.
He killed me twice while I was reorganizing my keybinds. I explained the situation. He preferred to interpret it as superiority. Perhaps one day he will discover the difference between timing and talent.
First Place – Imbecile – Lemarha, also known as Leshpion
Never has first place been more deserved.
Leshpion lives in a conceptual universe of his own design. He kills low levels because “they are in PvP”. When he meets actual PvP, he dies.
Repeatedly.
His solution? Sap my rogue first, then run away. Victory declared! Sap-war champion!
Apparently, PvP has been replaced with “who pressed Sap first”.
I discovered his philosophical brilliance when he logged onto Horde as Lemarha to inform me how terrible I am at sap-war.
He is correct. I do not specialize in sap-war. I specialize in killing him.
There is a difference.
And thus, for achieving a previously undocumented altitude of self-delusion, Lemarha earns the title of February’s Most Stupid Ganker.
That concludes this month’s ceremony.
See you next month. (Sylnera)
I am so glad that you agree with me, that i am sap war champion! 🙂
You know whats big diff? I rather troll you than kill you (killing you is not that funny at all)… but you want only kill me…
You take 20y old game too serious… its just a game chill and have fun like I have
Wish you all the best!
See ya in sap! 🙂 (no, reason why I always sap you is not because I am human) 😀
Thank you for the comment. It is always fascinating to see the internal logic develop in real time.
So let me make sure I understand your position correctly.
You sap someone, run away, and that means you win something called a “sap war”. Meanwhile, when we actually fight, you die. But that part apparently does not count, because in your personal rulebook the objective is no longer PvP, but “sap-war champion”.
That is quite an impressive intellectual maneuver. If you cannot win the actual fight, simply invent a completely different competition and declare yourself the winner of that instead. By that logic, every time you run away you are victorious. It is a beautiful system. Completely immune to reality.
As for the “you take a 20 year old game too seriously” part, that is another classic. You see it everywhere. Someone loses repeatedly, gets written about, and suddenly the problem is not the losing, but the fact that someone noticed it.
But don’t worry. I am very relaxed about it. In fact, I am relaxed enough to keep killing you when you forget to run away fast enough.
See you in PvP.
Or, as you prefer to call it, the warm-up phase before sprinting.
Oh I forgot… i dont kill low lvls… gravity did 🙂 Its not my faul that they do not pay enough attention
And the “gravity did it” explanation is honestly even better.
So the story is that you sit in stealth on a bridge, use Distract on players so they lose control for a few seconds, fall off the bridge and die… but you did not kill them. Gravity did.
That is a wonderfully creative interpretation of responsibility.
By that logic, if someone pushes another person down the stairs, the stairs are clearly the real culprit. After all, gravity was involved. Completely innocent.
It is also interesting that you felt the need to clarify that you do not kill low levels. The explanation alone already tells us quite a lot about how proud you are of the technique.
But I must admit one thing: it does take a certain kind of dedication to sit on a bridge waiting for distracted players to fall to their deaths and then describe this as “trolling” and “having fun”.
Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose.
Meanwhile, when we meet somewhere without a convenient cliff and gravity to assist you, things tend to end somewhat differently.
Which is why, I suspect, the running part of your strategy remains so important.
And just to make this clear before you start typing your next essay: we already had this discussion in game. You explained your theory. I explained reality. Nothing new has appeared since then.
So there is really no need for an endless debate here.
You can keep your sap-war championship.
I will keep the kill counter.
See you in game.